There is nothing I love more than a good ending! Whether it is a movie or a book. I'm a nerd so it's usually a book! It's so awesome when you heave a great sigh of satisfaction as the credits roll or the book is closed. I love knowing that everything has come together and all the junk that took place was somehow part of the plan my finite mind couldn't fathom. Yet, the journey to that great ending is more often than not full of tears or groans of frustration. I hate waiting for the ending!. I always find myself immersed in a great book anxious to surpass all the trials and stressful moments found on the pages. I can only get to the ending by enduring the journey...unless I peak. I struggle not flipping to the last page so that I can end the anxiety of the unknown. I won't lie to you I am that girl that has done that on occasion. I know...I am a book ruin-er but sometimes my fragile nerves just can't take it! But when I do that, I have a totally different perspective of the characters and their lives then I did when I was just as clueless as they were. I know the ending...I know it will all come together but I still feel like I am experiencing the pain right along with them. It doesn't change the tears I cried for them (and yes I cry in books and movies all the time) or the hurt I felt in the midst of their heartache. It does however change how I react to the hurts. I don't cry as someone hopeless. I know at the last page or when the credits roll I will heave a sigh of relief because I knew all along what was going on! I knew it would come together to create a beautiful finale. Sometimes when I read the difficult pages I want to scream "just wait...just wait! You have no idea the awesome chapter ahead for you!"
I can't help but think that this is probably how God is with the story of our lives. Psalm 139: 16 says "Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were WRITTEN in Your book and PLANNED before a single one of them began." HE has written and planned the book of our lives from day one. He knows every chapter, every page, every word. I imagine He felt sadness the day Ruth lost her husband and followed her mother-in-law into a world unlike her own. Yet He knew her story was not done! Her kinsman redeemer was coming! His tears crinkle the pages of our story, whether they are tears of laughter or heartache. But I take comfort in knowing that as His tears fall for the pain we have faced, He is anxiously writing and saying "just wait...you have no idea what I have in store for you!" He knows the moment is coming when the "nice guy" loses his dream girl to a total jerk. He feels the pain of the husband and wife that learn on page 100 they can not conceive a child. But He knows that joy is coming! He knows that a sweet baby, once abandoned, will be adored by those same parents in just a few chapters. He will smile because a new chapter is coming when the nice guy's life is sovereignly orchestrated to create the romance he has longed for. The author of our lives has not put down the pen or flipped forward to the pages of our earthly ending (eternal beginning...woot woot) in anxiety. No, He is graciously and sometimes painfully penning the pages of brokenness, heartache, joy, and laughter to reach the ending we so long for...the moment we see, as He has all along, how all the chapters fit together to pen a book only a good and gracious Author could write!
He's (a) BIG (awesome Author) and I'm (a) little (character),