I was running on fumes and could barely keep my eyes open. It had been a long day and I had very little sleep the night before. Needless to say I was quite out of it. I probably couldn't have found my way out of my own room I was so tired. I crawled into my warm bed half asleep and was hoping the rain would start to pour. Instead of hearing the rain through my open screen-less window (we have two extra screens...not sure why I haven't put them in my windows yet) I heard a flapping noise. I was so tired that the noise, although annoying, wasn't enough to pull me out of my sleepy state. After about 10 minutes I took pity on the poor moth that must have flown into my room. I got up and turned the light on to search for the bug and set him free. Only the noise stopped and I couldn't seem to locate the little booger in my comatose condition. I crawled back into my bed and there it went again...that blasted flapping noise. Before I even thought about getting back up I entered the best sleep I have had in ages. This morning before I even opened my eyes and my alarm could go off I was awakened by none other than...the flapping noise! Only this time it sounded louder, somewhat more desperate, and somewhat familiar. I hopped out of bed, saw my reflection in the mirror and thought surely this bug will see me and quickly fly out the window!
What I found took me back to five years ago... there on my window sill sitting in front of my two closed windows next to my open window was a familiar sight, none other than a bird!! Yep, back in college a bird had flown into my open window at Liberty ( hid under my covers in terror until it flew out). Birds must really love me...it's not mutual! Dejavu! I looked for bird poop on my beloved Elvis poster. Thankfully this bird respected Elvis enough not to deface him like the other bird had. I felt so bad for the little guy that had flapped all night in my room searching for a way to get out. I watched as he flapped his wings and smacked into the closed window. Then he turned and flew around the four walls of my room in total confusion. He perched himself back onto the window sill. I can only imagine how discouraged he must have felt knowing he found his way in but could not find his way out. There I stood a hot mess holding the blinds up and shooing him out the open window. He was sitting there staring at freedom and kept flying around his prison. In my head I am thinking "hey birdie freedom is right in front of you! Why do you keep flying into the closed window and around the walls holding you in!" It may have only been a few minutes but it felt like ages considering I was so nervous thinking that bird would poop or take residence on my head since it appeared much like a nest he would call home. Finally, he flapped his wings and flew out the open window into freedom.
I crawled back into my warm bed laughing at the coincidence that no matter where I live my room seems to be a magnet for birds. As I lay there I felt the Lord say to me "Betsy, this is more than just bird dejavu. This is life dejavu. You can be that bird!" I get lost and confused in my circumstances and spend my days flapping my wings seeking freedom. I find my way into a bad attitude or circumstances the Lord never desired for me to find and I seek to find a way out alone without His help and guidance. I fly around my prison walls, hit the closed windows, and sulk on the window sill seeking answers and freedom. All the while Jesus is there holding back the blinds whispering the way to His open window... shooing me to freedom. I have convinced myself that the closed window should be open and perch myself on the prison's window sill."
Habukkuk 2:1 says "I will stand on my guard post and station myself on the rampart; and I will keep watch to see what He will speak to me." A rampart in the Bible was a secured spot of safety. If that sweet lost bird had been sitting on the window sill (rampart) when I got up the first time I could have lifted the blinds and cleared his confusion. He could have found freedom much earlier. Yet, he was silent. How often do we sit in our bad attitudes, our confusion, and our four walls of prison in discouraged silence not expecting God to speak words of hope and direct us to freedom? If we would stand in the secured safety of the one in charge we would flap our wings and fly to freedom! Galatians 5:1 says "It is for FREEDOM Christ has set you free. Stand firm then and do not let yourselves be burdened by a yoke of slavery." Isaiah 40:31 says "those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength and they fly on WINGS LIKE EAGLES!" Christ stands holding the blinds of slavery away from us with His nail scarred hands whispering words of hope and love into our prison asking us to remove the yoke of slavery and to fly harder and faster like that of an eagle into the freedom He has freely provided.
Sweet Jesus, today I will choose to watch and wait for you to open the window of freedom. I will stop flying around my circumstances but instead I will flap my wings like an eagles and fly away from my prison into freedom like never before.
Praying we stop flapping and floundering but instead fly to freedom!
He's Big (shooing me to freedom) and I'm little (flying to freedom),