Yesterday I took a day off from kamp (yep we spell everything with a K at Kanakuk) because I got pink eye… y’all are probably laughing out loud right now just as I did when I looked at myself in the mirror and thought I must be really tired and somehow it is only showing in one eye…no big deal! It was barely red but it was enough for the doctor to give me the drops and send me on my way. Needless to say they kicked the sick kid out of kamp for a day so I did what any self respecting pink eye gal would do…I left! The first thing I did when I got in my car was call my family! I just wanted to hear their voices to listen to how they were doing…I missed them! You might say I am a little bit obsessed (a healthy obsession of course) with my family. I think they are the coolest/craziest people on earth! Gosh I just love them…A LOT! My love for them far outweighs anything in this whole world…no offense I love y’all too but…well I just dug myself in a hole…I’m done with that point.
The point is…tonight I was listening to Kim Walker’s version of “How He Loves Me” and it humbled me to imagine just how much God loves us…this love puts the love I have for my family to shame! I mean do we really get it…my small (let’s be honest it can’t be that big in this little body) brain can’t comprehend the height and depth of His great love! I challenge you to shout at the top of your lungs “HE LOVES ME”…it’s awesome…but preferably not right now if you are at work or around a large crowd that will think you are demented or you finally met the man/woman of your dreams and can’t contain your excitement…that can be a little awkward. Not that I am speaking from experience. Anyway I digress, but we need to be reminded of the extent of His love (Ephesians 3:18). I mean seriously we forget this…I think about how much I love my family and how much they love me but I forget about the love of God. If I remembered it all the time I would live differently.
Yesterday, I was walking into Wal-Mart and all of the sudden I became immediately self conscious because I was wearing shorts and people were taking second looks as I walked by. Those second looks always seem to hit a sore spot in my heart and for a brief moment I lived in the pity of being broken. Pity Party population one is what I like to call it…I was back to thinking that I was just the little girl that was never going to be loved…I realize the ridiculousness of this moment but hey cut me some slack I am an emotional basket case…for real! But as I listened to this song tonight I heard these words “I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory, and I realize just how beautiful You are, and how great Your affections are for me.” When I cling to the cross and I realize just how beautiful and awesome Jesus is and how much He loves me I literally become UNAWARE of this light and momentary affliction! Nothing else matters but the Love that the Savior has lavished on me! I pray that tonight you and I pop out of that pity party and live in the love of our Savior who loves us…oh how He loves us!
He’s big and I’m little (but loved),